Did you find everything YOU wanted today?

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

Mohandas Gandhi

I just returned home from my first visit to the new Highlands Sunflower Market. They did not disappoint with their wide aisles, wholesome food, lower prices and courteous staff. I overheard one customer remark that it reminded him of "an old fashioned country store" and I agree--although I hadn't noticed that until he said it. It brings pleasure back to shopping and makes easier my resolve to shop locally (see my blog entry of 3/29/07). It's big enough to have an expansive variety, but small enough to feel inviting and to navigate in a reasonable amount of time.

Want to know the thing I liked most about this new natural food market? The pleasure, the absolute unadulterated delight of getting up to the register only to have the clerk smile and wish me a friendly hello. And that was it! No, "May I have your membership card?" (those foul things!), no calling the supervisor for an override and most important, he didn't ask me if I'd found "everything I was looking for today." Hallelujah! What is up with that remark anyway? Is there anyone in their right mind who would be so foolish at that point (and with 12 people waiting in line behind him or her) as to voice that they need yet another item or items? Whenever I am asked that question, I generally give a vague smile with a "Mmmmmm" and let it go at that. I refuse to answer such an inane question, although I have yet to have the guts to lambaste the asker (who has probably been so directed by the ever-present--except when you need that darned override--supervisor to pose such a ridiculous question).

But once...oh just once, when being asked, if I've found everything I wanted today, I'd love to pull out my incomplete shopping list, frown at it ever so slightly and then proclaim, "Actually, I still need two cans of Dinty Moore, some leeks, three-quarters of a pound of deli turkey (thin sliced--why don't you fetch me a sample while you're at it?) and do you stock organic cottage cheese (small curd only)?" And should the hapless clerk happen to be a male, I think it would be the nail in the coffin to add--preferably in a loud voice as he is walking away to gather the requested items--"Oh yes and some Panti-Liners--the ones with the wings!"


Ah.....but that would not be kind. Funny, perhaps, but not kind. And we must never tread on the feelings of others in the quest for a good chuckle. So I will do the bulk of my shopping at my new local market and for the times that I need to venture into that other world of "paper or plastic," I will just fantasize...and smile. I will, however, be so glad when that ubiquitous phrase goes into oblivion along with its predecessors, 'Would you like to Supersize?" "Wassup?" and "You go, Girl!"