Labels

I've decided to sell my house. There--I've not only said it, but now I'm sending out to the World Wide Web, so it must be a reality. It's time. This 115 year old Victorian has been both the bain and the joy of my existence, depending on much money it cost me at any given moment and it is time to move on to the next adventure.

Yes, it is time. Jeremy and I want to travel more and do yard and house work less. My offsite wedding officiating is flourishing and it is truly where my passion lies. Oh sure, it's been fun to host small intimate weddings in my home; there have been many happy couples coming through my doors. But in reality those weddings comprise a very small part of my business and more often than not, these couples want only the basic civil ceremony which, while being very cost effective for them, does little to tap into my creative genius! The truth is that couples can get a basic ceremony anywhere--they don't need my talent for that.

So, today, my friend and colleague, Diane Peltier of Keller Williams will list my house. Ironically, it was the house that prompted me to get started performing weddings in the first place. It has served its purpose for me and it is time for someone else to fulfill their dreams here. When it sells, I will no longer be a home-owner, which is something I've been for most of my adult life. It feels strange, but it also feels liberating. I've conditioned myself to believe that owning a home is the financially responsible, adult thing to do. Does not owning a home make me flighty, irresponsible and (gasp) without roots? Probably not, when I actually think about it. Like most preconceived notions about labels, it is inaccurate when exposed to the light of examination and reflective thought. It got me to thinking about the labels we place on ourselves and others and how limiting they can be when we cease to stop and examine them.

At various periods of my life, I'm sure I've been regarded as the following, compete with the stereotypical attributes of each: college student, a soccer mom (I protest this one vigorously as I refused to ever buy a mini van, but I must admit that all the other characteristics were there!). I've been a DINK, (very briefly) a Yuppie, a single mom, a hot date, a bitch, a teacher, the difficult ex, and the doting wife. I've been employed, unemployed, self-employed and "between jobs". A sports-car owner, a "glowing" mom-to-be, a lapsed Catholic, an empty-nester, a divorcee, a writer, a daughter, a sister, a Grandmom (which I ain't given up for nothin'!) a familial black sheep (see lapsed Catholic and divorcee, above) and the doted-upon youngest grandchild. I've been considered a gym rat, a sugar-aholic, overweight, tall and slim, a handywoman, damsel in distress, victim (once, for about 3 minutes in my early thirties) and health nut. A risk-taker and a worry-wart. A comedian and a businesswoman (you need the former talent to succeed at the latter, I've learned). Saint and sinner. Self-righteous and problem-solver. A New Englander. A Coloradan. A liberal. A moderate. (I don't think I'll ever cop to being a conservative.)

Wow! Talk about dichotomies! Some of the above have been accurate perceptions; others not. I think the wonderful thing about careening toward 50 is that you cease to care. So what do I want to "be" after I am no longer a homeowner? A loving partner, a traveler, a dynamic and creative entrepreneur, a compassionate and fun wedding officiant, someone who doesn't give a rat's patoot about what she or others"is".

Oh yeah! The adventure has just begun!